I was listening to a podcast this week and the person being interviewed said the words, “All love ends in loss”. They were talking about fostering children and what a mine field it can be emotionally. Their point was deep. All love ends in loss sooner or later. Fostering is an arena where it can definitely happen sooner. I have walked that out and know first hand how true it is. I had never considered that same concept working itself out in every person’s life. It’s true if you think about it. I have already lost loved ones. One day my loved ones will also lose me. All relationships are on a timer.
When my grandson was born, my world tilted. The worlds of two entire families tilted. We were completely shocked that he was born extremely medically complicated. He was ultimately diagnosed with Vici Syndrome. The syndrome affects multiple organ systems. The average life-span for a person with Vici Syndrome is 3 years. He made it 2 1/2 years.
During Maddox’s short life he was completely dependent for everything. He never even gained the ability to control his own head. The one thing, physically, that he could do was grasp your fingers. That was a gift. He was a very expressive and loving little guy. He offered more love with his little broken body than a lot of fully functional people I have met. When he held my fingers …. I’ve never felt another love like it. He loved his “Gammy” for sure. I never doubted it.
Last week I shared my concept of needing to search for “evidence to the contrary”. I talked about finding buoys to cling to when our mental ships capsize at sea. Sometimes, the ability to identify truth is the one thing that can keep our heads above the waves. As that concept grows for me, I am recognizing more and more buoys in my life.
My relationship with Maddox, though he is gone, is a buoy. Simple love is a powerful thing. What he and I shared will remind me for the rest of my life how even the smallest gesture of love can sustain a person through the hardest of times. I look forward to heaven where I fully expect him to run jump into my arms. I very much look forward to hearing him call me “Gammy”. When I start believing that I have no value … when I want to believe that I am unlovable … the memory of that precious boy holding my fingers is the buoy I cling to.
When I think about how impactful that short relationship is on my life, I feel challenged. All he did was muster the strength to grasp my fingers. I am capable of much more for other people. All love may end in loss, but that doesn’t mean that love ends. The love between Maddox and I is very much alive. What simple gesture can I provide someone else that might just help them keep their head above the waves? What small thing can you do for someone in your life?
