I was listening to a podcast recently (That Sounds Fun – Annie F. Downs) and the interviewee (Paula Faris) said something like “Tragedy and opportunity exist in the same space”. That  really resonated with me and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. As I mulled it over and searched for an example of that in my own life, I kept going back to our adoption story. That quote served as the catalyst for me finally writing the story. 

     Our adoption was finalized on May 27, 2010. It was 818 days after meeting them, 2.24 years. It is now more than 10 years later. It would be book length to write the whole story, and I would need their help. I couldn’t talk about now without first explaining some of the past. I had no idea it would take 10 posts to accomplish. I wanted to end with the good news.

     The first years of their life contained great tragedy. Those years continue to impact almost every area of their lives. They have two families. They have lots of complicated relationships. They are loved, though, and they know where they came from. Were we the not-perfect parents the commercial depicted? Yes, we were really great at imperfection. We muddled through to the best of our ability. In the end, I suppose they could have done worse.

      When I consider the past 12 years plus change, I have such a strong sense of purpose. I write about purpose a lot. Typically, I speak of it in a future tense. Having written out some of our story, I can see it current and past tense as well. I am often told that God chose us to parent those girls. That bothers me because I hesitate to feel good about benefiting from someone else’s loss. I understand it though in the context of tragedy and opportunity.

     The tragedy is all theirs. The opportunity, though, has been for all 4 of us. God began preparing me and Hubby Guy for the task long before we had ever met. I always saw it as future opportunity. As life has unfolded we have been presented with endless opportunity.  For the girls, they had opportunity to rebuild life. That is offered daily to them. For us, we had opportunity to parent. We all had opportunity to learn and grow in a new and different environment.

     I wish that I had an easy way to show you what I know about my children. I wish I could give you a glimpse of the brave, the giftedness, and the potential they each possess. I am their biggest fan.

     The one thing they said in foster care training that was spot on is whether the child is with you for a day or a lifetime, you have the opportunity to make whatever amount of time positively impact that child’s life. I would add, your investment won’t be wasted. Every minute, in the midst of their tragedy, you have an opportunity to keep them safe, show them love, buy them ice cream, tuck them in, and create positive memories to hold onto.

     To borrow Sir. Winston Churchill’s words, I would say about the foster to adopt process, “It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key.”  That key is you wading into the muck with full knowledge that it will hurt, you will be stressed, there will be LOTS OF TEARS, there will be sleepless nights, information will lack, you will feel stupid and toyed with and you may swear to never do it again, BUT you have an opportunity to impact a life that NEEDS you.

     AND…. you have to look no further that your local agency to find a child that NEEDS you and all of your imperfection.