I’m not sure about you, but I have a knack for backing myself into the proverbial corner. Whether by action or inaction, I often find myself in a mental tight spot. I find myself at a place where I feel like my exit options range from plain bad to outright diabolical. I think most often I feel that way about my options because none of them are what I would have chosen if I could write my own outcomes.
As a kid, I’m pretty sure I read every Choose Your Own Adventure book published. In fact, I read each one over and over until I had exhausted every choice and outcome. There was something especially rich to me about having the ability to get multiple do-overs. In my childhood world, where little control of my own existed, those books provided what felt to me like freedom.
In the parenting of my own children, my husband and I have had very clear talking points regarding choices. After all, they are part and parcel to life in general. We all make choices daily. I think we just aren’t good at identifying our actions as actual choices made. On a good day, from my “corner”, I can look back and see the progression of my own actions/choices that led to my predicament. On less mature days, I spend my time picking out things other people did that caused the predicament for me. Unfortunately, more often than I care for, I let my less faithful, lazy side win and play the blame game. Either that or I settle myself into a gloomy pout for the day because I didn’t get my way.
I really hate it when I have gotten myself into a choice-driven mess. Also, one of the hardest parts of parenting for me is seeing my children backed into their own proverbial corners. One of my children always asks the question, “But, what do I do?”. It’s a simple question, and I completely understand why she asks it. I often ask that same question. It is, however, a hard question to answer. It has been rattling around in my mind for a while now, as I’ve been looking for the wisdom to satisfactorily answer it.
I’ve repeated the question over and over to try to establish a starting place to begin to process it. Recently, I finally considered the question differently. BUT, what do I do?… But, WHAT do I do?… But, what DO I do?… But, what do I do? Ah… that’s really the question, isn’t it? In the heat of the moment, that’s what I’m asking. I want to know what I can do to get myself out of the trouble I find myself in. I want to know where I can go to get the issue resolved the way I would prefer it be resolved. I…I…I…me…me…me…. choosing my own adventure… pridefully the center of my universe. Ouch! Hard truth landed squarely on the center of my heart.
So, what then, to solve the problem? I believe the answer lies in the notion that, as a Christian, I’ve relinquished my right to my outcomes. I have to intentionally, as Matthew 16:24 says, give up my own way. That’s definitely easier said than done! I started thinking about what exactly is involved with giving up my own way. I can think of several different times in life where I told God I would let stuff go but in a matter of days, or sometimes even minutes, I snatched it back again. “Giving up my own way” is a place where I clearly struggle. How do I actually set aside that prideful, selfish, striving nature of mine? How do I exercise an active faith in the most powerful, Holy God in whom I really do believe?….But, what do I DO? That’s an aspect of the question that has become clearer as well. I made the mess. Even in relinquishing the outcome, I need an activity to get back on the right path. If I’m honest, I believe that trust is at the heart of the issue.
| Trust is a loaded topic for sure. I’m not going to really go there fully right now. I’ll tell you, however, how I believe it relates to the topic-at-hand. Though the word trust is a noun, it implies activity. I’ve struggled with what active trust looks like. I’ve realized that sometimes trusting God can look like I’m doing nothing and that’s ok. I’ve realized that really all I can “DO” sometimes is pray. That is the number one thing that will bring a successful outcome according to what He wants. This is especially true in the middle of the messes my sloppy, sinful choices have gotten me into. I realized that trust is the opposite of choosing my own adventure. It’s deliberately surrendering the outcome. Action other than prayer, Biblical imperatives, or other Spirit-led activity would be in opposition to the concept. | Matthew 16:24-26 24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. 25 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. 26 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?[a] Is anything worth more than your soul? Footnotes: 16:26 Or your self? also in 16:26b. New Living Translation (NLT)Holy Bible |
Life is definitely an adventure. It affords more and more opportunities with each day. I think, though, that for me some re-framing should occur. Maybe it’s true of you too. Perhaps, instead of “choosing my own adventure”, I should be living a trust adventure. Perhaps, instead of letting the lazy me “wing it” in the actions department, I should exercise more faith with regard to my choices in the first place. I don’t believe, on this side of heaven, that I can really keep myself out of all those “corners”. I do believe, however, that God loves me an awful lot. The adventure that He has for me is far greater than one I could choose for myself. ….But, what do I do?…… Shift my focus back to my King, and choose to embrace the ultimate eternal instead of the comfortable temporal. Actively trust Him and find real freedom in knowing that in Him I don’t need any do-overs.