Hubby Guy and I are empty nesters. Our youngest just moved out. We know that more than likely she may move back in a couple of times before she is truly launched. It was like that with our oldest. We are loving it, though. I didn’t even wait a whole day before her bedroom became my office.  I am not one to let emotions stop me from capitalizing on available space.

As much as I love having room to spread out, I feel sad about her leaving. We have an easy relationship. There were times that were not so easy, but most days we really enjoy one another. Fortunately for me, she moved in with someone we know, love, and trust. The move was interesting because my daughter moved in with someone who is older, more established and has young children. Those three factors have turned the apartment into a giant stuff puzzle. It all fit great until another person was added. Now there are unorganized heaps of stuff everywhere… furniture, linens, toys, and décor ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. It will take time and ingenuity, but the puzzle will be solved and order will be restored.

I was standing in the apartment, letting my inner organizer take it all in. My mind went immediately to relationships. I thought about what lead to my daughter’s roommate having space in the first place. The situation is sad. My mind can not understand why someone so amazing is having to go through it. Surely, we are witnessing a part of her life that will one day remind her of her strength. She may not realize it now, but I pray she will be able to look back one day and see God’s hands all over the situation.

As I stared, bewildered, at the piles, I started drawing a mental parallel. The living room started feeling like a visual representation of life. We all have lots of stuff, don’t we? I am not talking just about possessions. We each have an eclectic collection of experiences, emotional baggage, and personality traits. Managing our own internal stuff puzzle can be excruciatingly hard. I have seen a counselor for years who helps me sort all the pieces that belong to my life. That is why relationships, in my opinion, can be tricky. When you combine stuff puzzles, life can get spicy. Blending puzzles is rarely an easy task. Even wonderful relationships take effort and lots of patience.

The first time I saw Hubby Guy’s house when we were dating, I was overwhelmed. He grew up out west and it looked like a western store threw up all over it. In just one room there was an Indian print blanket, wolf art, a giant picture of John Wayne, cow horns, and an antique Remington rifle. And, as if he said but wait there’s more, there were giant cowboys painted in his room and western themed switch plates. It all hurt my nerves. As things got serious between us, I thought about how it would look to combine our physical possessions. We managed to get through it. We do, however, almost 17 years into marriage have a wolf print and a moose print hanging in our closet. The cow horns are mounted in the basement and John Wayne watches over our spare room. Blending happened. It just did not happen without concerted effort. The same is true of our internal stuff puzzles. We managed to find places for our eclectic experiences, emotional baggage, and personality traits, such that we are not constantly tripping over one another in our relationship.

Are you aware of your internal stuff puzzle? How has it impacted the relationships in your life?  Taking time, every once in a while, to take inventory can be very beneficial to ourselves and our relationships. We just might finally figure out where the odd-shaped piece we have tried unsuccessfully to place for years goes. We may discover new and creative ways to successfully blend. Best yet, we may identify the careful and loving fingerprints of God all over our puzzle pieces.