In the last week, I have used the phrase “showed up on my planet” a couple of times. I used it to portray the idea that there are lots of really great people who I do not know exist. Then, as if by magic, God drops them in my path… a lot like earthworms show up on my planet after it rains.
Rainy days dominated last week. My office is in a beautifully landscaped building. When it rains, one must navigate a patio covered in earthworms. On Thursday, after multiple days of rain, I tip-toed through a minefield of whole worms still wiggling, parts of worms, and large patches of multiple-worm shrapnel. Can you see it?
Before entering the building, I took a picture of one whole creature, still alive. “Godspeed”, I said, and headed to my office. The sight of that patio Thursday morning sticks with me. Troubled by the needless perishing of God’s creatures, I went to Google for some answers. It turns out that scientists do not agree on why earthworms wiggle out onto the pavement after rain. Although scientists do not agree on the reason, I believe their action results from a need. Whatever the need may be, it leads to unintentional consequences.
This morning, a Pastor I follow on YouTube said, “If you do not process your pain, you project your pain.” The statement launched in me a series of memories from life. My journey for the last few years has been one of healing. Unfortunately, healing is most often a slow hike, not a quick jog.
Unapproachable. The word best describes my general demeanor. At least, it used to. My inward need for connection exists deep beneath a powerful RBF. Once upon a time, when I walked into a room, my face sliced everyone to shreds before a word was spoken. Sometimes that still happens.
When I think of that patio covered with worms, I am reminded of my deep need for connection. Specifically, it reminds me of how projecting my pain has cost me and others. Too many times in life, my poor communication skills led to unintentional consequences like hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and the death of friendships. When I look back, I see a debris field of people in my wake. Gross, right?
We get into trouble when we immediately make a value judgment based only on what we can see with our eyes. We all need connection. We were created for it, but we take people at face value and we should not. All of us are so much more than the look on our faces, the style of our clothes, or anything else immediately observable.
“Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.”
Romans 12:4-5
Debris fields happen on our way to figuring out human connection. Sometimes our timing is bad, and we get inadvertently squished. Other times, we show up projecting pain, and others default to a place of protection. So how do we successfully achieve this one-body scenario described in Romans 12? Paul provides a list of ways in verses 9-18 of the same chapter:
Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good.
Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters.
Take the lead in honoring one another.
Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.
Share with the saints in their needs
Pursue hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with one another.
Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble.
Do not be wise in your own estimation.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil.
Give careful thought to doing what is honorable in everyone’s eyes.
If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
The greatest thing we can do for ourselves, and others, is to pay attention. The gore of the patio sticks with me most because I recognize a general lack of attention causes the majority of the damage. Maybe we can’t save the earthworms. We can, however, withhold judgment when someone shows up on our planet or we show up on theirs, hold space for people to feel comfortable around us, remember that we are made for connection and belong to each other, and most important of all take our cues from scripture. Then, rain or shine, we can connect like we are supposed to.