I am the world’s worst at celebrating the people I love. I am not sure if my issue stems from plain laziness or something else. When did someone tell you how much you mean to them? How long has it been? When did you tell someone how much they mean to you? Has it been a while? I suspect I am not the only one that struggles with this type of communication. We all need to communicate love.
10 years ago I participated in a flash mob for my friend’s 40th birthday. Her husband got some members of James Madison University’s Mozaic Dance Team to choreograph a dance to an old 80s favorite. 20ish of us gathered with members of the dance team to learn the choreography and learn the plan for running out from our hiding places to dance. Tons of work went into it. The time was well spent. Her flash mob surprise remains one of my favorite surprises of all time.
Several weeks ago, the same friend’s husband began orchestrating a surprise party for her 50th birthday. He contacted three of us, her close friends from different areas of life, to pull together an afternoon to celebrate our friend. The surprise party took place yesterday. I have a new sweet memory to carry.
A decision was made for everyone to contribute reasons why my friend is the best. I got the great honor of collecting those and turning them into a group gift to her. I got a friend to put some lettering on a jar ala Pinterest. I then took the submitted comments, rolled them up, tied them with ribbon, and added them to the jar. It turned out great!
For a few weeks, people entered comments on a Google Doc. I read each one as I pulled them into my project space. Reading message after message of affection and adoration for my friend reminded me a lot of a eulogy at a memorial service; not in a dark way, but from the point of celebration. Every submission celebrated the many special qualities my friend possesses.
I thought a lot about how we most often share all the best qualities of a person with each other after the person dies. My mind wandered to the topic of grief. I have lost several family members. Words left unsaid and questions that remain unanswered bother me. I wonder how much pain we could save ourselves by being generous with our praise and more intentional with our communication.
We all need to be celebrated, as my Hubby Guy would say, “On this side of the dirt.” We need to hear all the things that people appreciate about us. For me, I struggle with not being sure that people enjoy being around me. Left to my own devices, I assume I suck the life out of people. That said, I am neither soliciting your kind words nor throwing shade because I am the chief offender at neglecting to tell people how awesome I think they are. I need to do better. Anyone with me?
Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another.
Romans 12:10 (CSB)
Seeing my friend with her jar full of love pricked my heart in the very best way. Watching her unroll the scrolls and read all the kind and funny things people shared impacted me. The tears in her eyes touched me. Her tears and her laughter provided a memorable example of why Paul instructed believers to love each other deeply and honor one another.
That jar of love will keep my friend’s spirits lifted for a while. A little love goes a long way, but a lot of love will go even further. If we possess the ability to communicate in any form, we can make a difference not just to friends, but to anyone we encounter. And, we don’t even have to wait for a group birthday gift.