Human relationships are tricky. Relationships are made especially complicated by very polarizing personal choices and tightly held beliefs. As much as I enjoy the freedoms we have, I have been so disappointed with the poor behavior I have seen displayed from every side of what I would call the “hot mess” of a world in which we are currently living. This week I was freshly inspired by some cues from nature to make things a little better for everyone.

I love animals. I’m like Snow White and Cinderella. I speak to mice, birds, and woodland creatures. I greet every farm creature I see on my way to work every single morning. Between my house and work, there are at least three horses who greet me. Lots of cows, 2 swans, several ducks, and occasionally a sheep or two are also there to offer morning greetings. I skip none of them.

Last winter, Hubby Guy placed several bird feeders outside our front window. He picked that spot strategically so our feline housemates would have ready entertainment. They stay very entertained.  An unintentional consequence of his action is I am also entertained. 

I was resting in the front room, recently, and noticed out the far window a little bird staring in at me, tilting his head side to side, as birds do. I assured him, if the glass weren’t there so he could fly to me, I would welcome him to light on my finger so I could greet and pet him.  I also assured him that he would love it. With those words, he spooked and flew away, also as birds do.

The interaction made my mind wander to small bird behavior. Birds are fun to watch. They hop here and there. They look at things from a million angles. Birds seem to maintain some semblance of community but appear as if they are skittish even with their own kind sometimes. I could not help but realize they share that particular trait with humans. I know many a human that I would call bird-like.

My problem, and maybe you can relate, is I am quick to forgive a skittish bird or stand-offish horse but am irritated by the same behavior in humankind. The worst part is I, myself, am extremely stand-offish and skittish. My hypocrisy on this one is not lost on me.

Yes, I realize humankind is at the top of the food chain and therefore operates by an altogether different set of rules. We were made by the same Creator, however, and I like to take cues from nature. To that end, my favorite thing on social media to watch is videos of people rehabbing wild animals in their homes. I watched one today of a woman who rehabbed an orphaned baby skunk for a solid year. Since his release, he comes back to her front porch regularly to snack on cheese balls which are a favorite of his. In all the time he has known her, he has never sprayed her. Those stories always melt my heart. I also believe, we can learn from these interactions.

Ultimately, it boils down to relationships. If a person and a skunk can figure out one another, I think it is wrong of us to quickly write off other people who are not immediately relatable. We can, and we do, but to what end? Our worlds become small, inhabited by only those that look like, think like, and agree with us.

When I consider my own skittish, stand-offish behavior it is because I have been “sprayed” before so to speak. That behavior from humankind leaves a lasting impression, much like being sprayed by a skunk. There is nothing wrong with strongly held beliefs, but everything is wrong with physically, verbally, emotionally, or otherwise assaulting another person with whom we differ. We may have extreme differences, justified fear, and plain dislike, but none of those things provide us a license to strike out at another person. Such behavior only deepens the divide between people and makes us skittish.

What if, instead of being arrogant and crabby about our tightly held beliefs and druthers, we challenged ourselves to find a way to relate? What if we just go ahead and build relationships with the birds, horses, sheep, and even the skunks in our lives? What if we love them as the Bible directs us to do instead of defensively “spraying”? We do not have to deny the truth, back down from what we believe, or convert others to our way of believing in order to connect in meaningful ways.

I think if that little bird had known just how serious I was about wanting to be kind and gentle with him he would have perched a little longer. In the same way, when we are kind and gentle with other humans they feel less threatened. We are a lot more likely to build a relationship when we are assured the environment is not hostile towards us. We might even learn to love the gift of cheese balls offered in peace from someone we would have considered unapproachable before. We may be the one offering the cheese balls. Either way, that world sounds so much better than the one we are living in right this minute. We can all do better.