I have rarely been accused of being fast at anything. Whether by procedural inefficiencies or just a plain lack of energy, I tend to finish last. That has been true my whole life. That fact has also bothered me my whole life. Because of that, the speed of completing an activity is something I tend to notice in myself and in others. My children will solidly attest to that fact. They drove me crazy when they were young. I will never understand why it always took 10 minutes to load the car and leave the house after I declared it was time to leave. There must be a time warp between my kitchen door and the car.

     I have shared before that I do CrossFit. If you have never heard of it or don’t know what happens in a CrossFit gym, at some point, everyone does the same workout at the same time. The workout is different every day. Sometimes there is a prescribed amount of time to complete as much work as possible. Other times there is a prescribed amount of work to be completed in a specific amount of time. They sound the same but are very different. The first scenario is the one best suited for how I operate. In those workouts, you just go at your pace and complete as many repetitions as possible until the time expires. Those will always be my favorite type of workout. In the other scenario, there seems to always be way more work than can possibly be accomplished in the amount of time provided. In those workouts, you are behind before you even start. Those workouts are as mentally hard for me as they are physically hard.

     As I said before, I notice the speed of activity completion in myself and others. Because there is a time aspect at the gym, I notice again and again the speed differential between myself and others. I am almost always the last one to finish a workout. Because of that, I regularly scale the workout to insure that I will finish around the same time as others. On one hand, there’s nothing wrong with that. CrossFit is designed to be scaled to fit literally anyone brave enough to walk in the doors. On the other hand, I am often capable of doing more than I do. I just know it will take me beyond the time cap. So, for every workout with a prescribed amount of work, I am set up to feel like I’m cheating.

     Since the gym re-opened after COVID, I have worked out often with a member who used to always go to a different class time. Her name is Jasmine. I met her for the first time a few years ago. We ended up lifting together because there were a lot of people in class one day and we needed to share. I remember feeling intimidated by her. She has a giant mermaid tattoo on her leg. She is also really strong. Those things combine for a pretty serious coolness quotient. I am always intimidated by the cool kids. I have learned in the last year that apart from being seriously cool she is also kind and giving. She is a sweet Mama to her three kids and the kind of friend everyone should aspire to be. Anyway, I have noticed a quality in Jasmine that makes her way cooler than her mermaid tattoo ever could. Again and again I see her complete the prescribed amount of work without regard for the time cap. Time expires and she isn’t bothered. She stays focused and completes the work. That blows my mind EVERY time she does it.

     I was thinking about the difference in approach between Jasmine and myself. Am I just a wuss or does she possess superb mental toughness? I pondered that for a very long time. I boiled everything down to how we process expectations. In the workouts with a prescribed amount of work and a time cap, I put the weight on the time cap. Jasmine puts the weight on the prescribed work. Who will end up stronger faster? She will. I will finish first, but she will win every time.

     How often in life do we put the weight on the wrong aspect of the expectation? How often do we cut corners to appear like we are keeping up with everyone else? Or, is that just me? Here is what I have learned from watching Jasmine: Go your own speed. Go the speed that it takes for you to accomplish what you set out to do and stay the course. We are all unique. I am uniquely slow… especially at CrossFit. I am talking about all aspects of life, though. We get to choose over and over again every day between doneness and completeness. There’s a difference. It is a difference that can make a big dent in the ultimate outcome. We need to dial in daily to what we are ultimately after. What are our goals? Are we chasing a particular dream? If we know what we are after, we can make a wiser choice between doneness and completeness. If we choose completeness more often and it takes us more time, that is okay. Choosing completeness will get us to our goal faster. Choosing doneness will leave us with regrets and farther from our goal than we need to be.