At the end of 6th grade, I tried out for cheerleader. I DO NOT know what I was thinking. Tryouts came quickly on the heels of the 6th-grade play. It was the first time I had been on stage in front of lots of people since the school talent show in 3rd grade. I sang a song in the talent show from the children’s musical we were preparing for at church. Although I was excited to sing, I was mortified. There are photos that proved I did it, but I have no actual memories of doing it. The play felt much better. Afterward, I felt brave. I carried that bravery right into cheer tryouts.
The thing my bravery did not take into account was the fact I was hideous. I had not grown out of my awkward phase. I had big thick glasses, crooked teeth, my mother cut my hair, and my clothes were homemade. Tryouts were voted on by our classmates. I had zero chance of making the squad.
We all have those memories, don’t we? We can remember times when we didn’t make the cut. I will never forget how I felt when my name was not on the list. I would bet you won’t either. Those moments tend to follow us. The challenge we face is whether or not we will let them inform our future choices.
Steven Pressfield says in The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle – “Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.” To be successful at that will require some trial and error. Failure can be a useful thing. If we harness it correctly, it can help identify our uniqueness. When we take it at face value, we can completely short circuit our efforts at becoming who we are meant to be.
I ultimately grew out of my awkward phase and ended up cheering in high school and college. That redeemed failure remains a source of encouragement for me more than 30 years later. It reminds me timing is important. I was better equipped in high school and college to learn about myself through my experiences on the cheer squad. Though I loved the athletic aspect of it, it validated my introversion. The whole experience required way too much social interaction and lots of noise. The experience helped me hone in on who I am.
What about you? Where in life has trial and error helped you realize who you are? Can you look back at times you felt you failed and recognize steps toward your authentic self? You have your entire life to do the work of becoming who you were created to be. There is a constant ebb and flow to living. Through trial and error, success and failure, and growth and decline we are learning. So, you can go ahead and let yourself off the hook of having life solved. None of us has arrived, and that is alright.
As the leaves change and we embrace the change of season, take time to remember your own journey. Look for all the evidence across your life that identifies your uniqueness. Reframe failures and claim victories you may have missed. Recognize who you already are and become it. I will do the same.
It is so interesting to see your comments about your thoughts in the past! In my view, as a child you were always a proper success at each moment. I enjoyed all of you as you were growing up. My enjoyment continues now. Gloria and I always did the best we knew how to do. I don’t think that we were ever perfect. We shared a lot of opinions and were able to work together for 28 years. I think we could have continued to do so. It would probably take a book to write down how we didn’t stay married. Life is about failure and overcoming. Gloria was a champion overcomer. All our failures were boring, common human failures. Our society didn’t help us do right. We could have made better decisions. This is what truthful people say. We each own the causes of some of our trials! But we want to load it all on the other person. If I wrote a book about Gloria and I, it would be a challenge to concentrate on the good times and reasonably modify the not so good ones. I am not inspired to do that. The overcoming is the lesson for all people.
We do need Christ’s help in that work!