I wish that I had written down all the comments that I have gotten over the years concerning my children. They have been wide and varied. Some have been really great things to say, and some not so much. The overarching theme of most of them has been the notion of hope. If you have never fostered or adopted, it is hard to speak into it in an educated and impactful way. Because I lean hard toward being a pretty cynical person, I always heard messages of hope much like I heard “Have a nice day”. I feel like those words are most often spoken out of duty instead of a genuine concern for my day. When someone would say, “Because of you the girls can have hope” or “There’s always hope”, it would make me feel sick like I had just been force fed an entire bowl of death by chocolate.
According to Wikipedia: “Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large. As a verb, its definitions include: “expect with confidence” and “to cherish a desire with anticipation.” So sure, it is an appropriate word. I just could not hear it, having full knowledge of our circumstances. That word had zero power in my cynical leaning world. At times, hearing that word made me feel irate. I am certain that was because I took on too much responsibility to make something good happen, or to force a positive outcome. Being both a cynic and a perfectionist created a perfect storm for me emotionally.
I started listening to a sermon series on the book of Ephesians. I don’t get why I am continually surprised by new insight when I read scriptures over and over again. I have known for years that’s how it works! I can’t seem to get out of chapter 1.
Ephesians 1:17-21
Christian Standard Bible
17 I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you may know what is the hope of his calling, what is the wealth of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the mighty working of his strength.
20 He exercised this power in Christ by raising him from the dead and seating him at his right hand in the heavens 21 far above every ruler and authority, power and dominion, and every title given, not only in this age but also in the one to come.
Did you happen to notice the word hope in that passage? I about choked on it. I am no Bible scholar, and scripture exegesis is beyond me, but that word jumps off the page every time I read the passage. It has bounced around in my mind so much that I printed the passage and taped it to the wall above my computer.
I have been a Christian for a very long time. I am ashamed to admit that I am guilty of first considering the secular connotation of ideas far too often. The word hope has been such a turn off for me for so long. It has been overused because of my life circumstances. To see it used in scripture in such a powerful way shook me. I haven’t taken the time to consider how the word is used from a perspective of faith.
Again, scripture exegesis isn’t a gifting I have. I am just so captured by verse 18. I think all the time about what I am called to do. I will admit to being somewhat obsessed by it. I have never considered a calling to be a hopeful thing. I have always thought of it more as a life imperative. It is very freeing at the end of verse 19 to see the source of hope listed as “according to the mighty working of his strength”. Reading that was such an ah-ha moment for me.
The secular definition of hope bases the optimistic hopeful state of mind on the expectation of positive outcomes. Since I am basically cynical, that hasn’t worked for me. This Bible passage places all the power for hope on something completely outside of myself. I can track with that. I am also energized by that. The “hope of his calling” on my life isn’t dependent on how educated, disciplined, rested, or energetic I am. Might those things help? Yes, but any foibles I possess won’t derail the train. I have gotten a lot of mental mileage from this line of thought.
According to blueletterbible.org, the word hope is used 167 times in 159 verses in the New International Version of the Bible. That is a lot! I am feeling like I need to take the time to go read every verse. I think I may find some really solid evidence for believing that the sun doesn’t rise and set at my behest. I think I may find that God has planned fantastic things for my life AND He is the one who drives the ability to achieve it.
As I think about my life and calling, I am finally free and understand what it means to be hopeful.