Last week a friend shared with me some exciting news she had just gotten about an opportunity to share her story in a very public way. The part of her story she was asked to share is one that falls solidly in a category of things people don’t readily talk about for fear of shame and judgement. That really started my brain wheels spinning.

     My family is walking through something right now that I don’t happily share with anyone. A handful of people closest to us know and even they approach and ask for updates in whispered voices. Sometimes life is just hard and painful. I am certain that anyone can readily name a time when life has felt that way. Unfortunately, heartache is common to life. It makes me sad that our natural inclination is to just gut it out in isolation. We are certainly not a society that skips around sharing the not-so-pretty pieces of our lives.

     I am not advocating for full disclosure of right-now issues to stacks of strangers. I am wondering, however, if there is a happy medium between publicly releasing all the gory details and binge watching TV in the dark with a sack of chips while hiding from everyone.

     I just finished reading a book by a man who has endured similar experiences to those of my own family. I had forgotten how freeing a feeling it is to encounter solid validation. I have no doubt that the telling of his story has helped countless people. It certainly validated so many things I have felt. There is clearly a time and a place for the telling of some stories.

     Not long ago, I heard a young man publicly share what he has been through in his life. I was stunned by what he shared. So much of what he said reminded me of a family member of mine who is struggling. I found myself wondering about his family. I wondered how they felt while he was in the midst of his struggle. I wondered if their thoughts at the time match mine in my current situation. I wondered just how badly they had wanted his story to end well. I wondered if they had any idea things would turn out so good for him.

    My family member, who is struggling, is an AMAZING human.  I want one day for her to be able to tell her story. I want others to see what I see. Want isn’t quite the appropriate word for how I feel. Perhaps covet is a better word to convey how badly I want a happy ending for her. I anxiously await the day when I can celebrate success with her. Vladimir Nabokov said, “The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible.”  That is exactly how I feel about her life.

     So, I wait…. and I try not to hide. I share what I can, when it is right. If you are reading this and you can relate, I encourage you to find your middle ground. Find a healthy position, find a healthy outlet where you can share, and find something positive you can hold onto about that person.  If you are that person, share your story. The world needs to hear it. Those are the stories that keep me afloat some days.