I excitedly stood near the bow of the boat and tried to listen to the guide explain all the ins and outs of the equipment I was installing on my body. My nervous energy made it hard to internalize all of his instruction. While simultaneously getting myself and both children fitted for our adventure, I remember trying to grab important facts, like how to not drown. At the end of his instruction time, the boatload of us was herded to the ladder at the back of the boat. One by one we sat, strapped on our fins, and launched ourselves forward into the icy Pacific Ocean.

Hubby Guy wanted to snorkel. It was a big bucket list item for him. I had my reservations. Swimming has never been a favorite activity for me. Something, too, about being way out in the actual ocean gave me pause. But, we were in Hawaii. The itty-bitty piece of me that appreciates a once-in-a-lifetime grand unknown agreed to go.

Breathing with your face in the water is counterintuitive. I put my face in the water repeatedly and tried to take a breath. The best I could do felt a lot like trying to draw a breath while sobbing. Over and over, I took stuttered, panicky breaths while trying to get my bearings. To really accentuate my misery, the ill-fitted wet suit top did nothing to ease my hard chills from the frigid water.

There I bobbed, somewhere near Maui, struggling to reconcile the beauty that certainly awaited me, should I pull myself together, with the abject terror gripping my entire body. It was a mental battle of epic proportions.

Change feels just like snorkeling to me. My days are structured and flow one right into the next. Monday things happen on Monday, Tuesday things on Tuesday, and so on. Life happens predictably… until it doesn’t. A beloved pet is suddenly near death, a child has a car accident, a co-worker goes on maternity leave, and the icy waters of change rush in and make it ridiculously hard to breathe.

How in the world do we keep forgetting that change is inevitable? Why is it that we are regularly rattled when we are forced to recalibrate our plans? We change our clothes, our hair, our accessories, and our minds all of the time. But, when life turns on a dime and changes our plans, we find ourselves bobbing in the ocean trying to figure out how not to drown.

I easily recall the shock and panic that followed my awkward flipper push off the ladder into the ocean that day. I have snorkeled many more times since then, and every single time I push away from the ladder, the same thing happens. I struggle to breathe. I balk at putting my face in the water. I shiver and bob and try not to drown. I don’t enjoy that part of the experience, but I have learned to accept it.

How we respond to change can be a game-changer for us. We can learn and adapt. There are three things I think of immediately that can help us get our bearings when we are in panic mode.

Find Our Safe People

At the peak of my panic, I decided to locate Hubby Guy. He always has a settling effect on me. I found him not very far away, wrangling our two daughters. They immediately started telling me about all the cool fish they had seen. With a renewed sense of want-to, I put my face in the water and confidently drew a breath.

All of the sudden, I was just out in the ocean making memories with my family. We were able to compare notes about how not to drown. It turned out that we all felt overwhelmed by the whole of it. The circumstances had not changed. We were just braver together. Being with our safe people gave us the confidence we didn’t have alone.

Relax

When I told Hubby Guy of my struggle, he supplied a tactical approach. He told me to starfish my body on the surface of the water face down and float. When I did that, I was able to stop frantically kicking for fear I would go under. While floating and trusting the devices I had so painstakingly installed, I was able to calm down and relax. Breathing came easier. I was able to get to the other side of the immediate trauma.

On every snorkeling outing I have been on since, after the initial panic that always happens, I kick away from the boat until I have space and then assume my starfish position. I hang out there until the panic eases and I can breathe normally.

Sometimes we need to use a tactical approach for panic induced by change. We won’t be able to get to the other side until we can be calm and rational. Nothing good comes from prolonged panic. Taking a long, hot bubble bath will not change the circumstance but it will allow us space to get our bearings. Maybe for you, running works well. If you don’t have a go-to, I encourage you to experiment until you find a healthy one.

Look for the Good

When I was finally able to breathe easily, I beheld something I would have missed. Just beneath the surface and past the panic there was staggering beauty. There was a whole other world, teeming with life. As I moved farther from the boat, I saw baby sea turtles that melted my heart with cuteness. A squad of small squid glided by. I kid you not. That is what a group of squid is called. They captured my imagination. There were vibrant colored fish in every direction. It became one of the coolest experiences of my life.

I realize all change doesn’t lead to something beautiful. Most of the time, though, there is a least something to be learned. Change inherently brings opportunity. It is up to us to look for it. Perhaps the change you face will bring new relationships, different scenery, or a new set of skills. Maybe my change will bring fresh confidence, a new address, or the ability to fulfill a lifelong dream. Let’s be sure to look for the good. It is there, for sure.