Have you ever thought to consider your expectations surrounding events and holidays? Until recently I had not. I challenge us all these next few days to pay attention to how you would like things to unfold. In 5 short days, the long wait for Christmas will begin again. How much might your season improve next year were you to dial in your unrealized expectations?

What am I talking about? Glad you asked.

I celebrated a round birthday this year. By round, I mean the number ends in zero. Leading up to the day, I enjoyed seeing pictures of same-age friends at big parties thrown for them to mark the special number. I even participated in pulling off a surprise party for my best friend. But when my day came, it fell very flat. I shopped for groceries and went to the gym. Later, Hubby Guy took me to our favorite Chinese restaurant for my favorite dish. No cake, no candles, no surprise, no party at all happened to commemorate the round year. At some point, disappointment crept in. As I processed all I felt, I realized I battled unrealized expectations and lost.

A few weeks later, I shared all that with a friend. She asked a simple question. Did you tell anyone what you wanted? The question stung me. Do I need to? Must I leave detailed instructions for how I want people to celebrate me? Shouldn’t they know? Don’t they love me? Do they even know me? These questions quickly rushed to my defense.

Think about it. Can you relate? Do you share your wants with those close to you or, like me, expect clairvoyance concerning you? Ouch, right? We can all do better for one another.

I discovered something important. After deeply contemplating the topic, I realized my expectations eluded me. My experience of the round birthdays of others created wants that did not fully lodge into my consciousness until they failed to materialize. At that point, it was too late.

Why must life be so complicated?

I spent last weekend at the home of my “family by choice”. Their house showcases everything beautiful about Christmas. One can’t help but steep in Christmas when hanging out there. Warmth and peace emanate from every nook and cranny. My stay offered an opportunity for contemplation about Christmas. As I shared about my dismal birthday experience, parallels emerged.

The Christmas season brings on so many different feelings. The scent of deep pine, warm cinnamon, or orange and clove grabs hold somewhere deep in my remembrance and shakes loose memories like dry needles falling from the tree. Sometimes the process lights me up and other times those memories ride in on icy winds that chill me to the bone.  My own expectations elude me.

Celebrating Christmas somehow snowballs from the birth of Christ into heaps of other mismatched things from every direction.  Before I know it, I’m wrecked, upside-down, discombobulated, and buried in discarded wrapping paper. Where did Jesus go? What am I doing? How did Dippin Dots become part of the scenario?

When Christmas concludes, do you feel content or disappointed? Do you suffer every second from November 1^st until December 26^th? Or, do you share your heart with those close to you? What unrealized expectations keep you from celebrating in a deep and meaningful way?