Meet Bryce. He weighs in at 1 lb 4oz. He is cute as a button and built from solid sass. He is also lucky number 139 of the cats and kittens that have found themselves bunking in our foster room during the last 6 years.
We got into fostering cats completely by accident. It is not something we had ever considered. Hubby Guy encountered the cutest little bottle-baby Siamese kitten that was being cared for by a couple of his students. He decided that I needed said cute little kitten. He contacted the organization she was being fostered through and asked if we could foster her and then ultimately adopt. He was told, “Sure, if you will foster others too.” What started as a one-time adventure is still going strong 6 years later. It has also lead to 4 additional foster-fail additions to our menagerie. Foster-fail is the term for what happens when you just can’t let go and decide to adopt one. It is the truly dangerous part of the sport of fostering animals.
The number one question I have been asked repeatedly during the last 6 years is, “Don’t you get attached?”. I was thinking about that question this week because Mr. Bryce is a prime candidate for foster-failure. Good news for me …. he is already pre-adopted by someone else.
I do get attached to almost every single cat and kitten that we care for. I have shed tears on adoption day many, many times. I call that success. That is what fostering is about. We love them as our own. We shower them with love, playtime, and all the kibble they can eat. We teach them how awesome it is to hang out with people, then launch them into happy lives with their adopters. Adoption day is always the goal. To see the excitement of the adopter(s) is extremely rewarding. It should work that way for all fostering, right?
If you know our story, you know cats aren’t the only creature we have fostered. We started with children. Truth: animals are WAY easier. Fostering children is a very lonely activity, in that no one who hasn’t fostered children understands at all what you are going through. People mean well, but they say and do things that are hurtful. Those things send your family unit back inside your turtle shell of understanding. You muddle through as best you can until the child is moved or you adopt. People are even more valuable than animals. It feels wrong that fostering children didn’t feel as rewarding to me as fostering animals. Ultimately it was. Fostering children is just far more complicated and operates on an otherworldly timeline.
It has taken me a minute to get here, but I would like to offer a thought. Maybe organized, subsidized fostering isn’t for everyone. I think, though, fostering IS for everyone. What do I mean? When I look into the eyes of that sweet Bryce kitten, I see vulnerability. It is the same look I have always seen when I look into the eyes of my children. Vulnerability isn’t all that hard to spot. Fostering is ultimately taking a life form under your wing, nurturing it until it is strong enough to thrive on its own, and then celebrating its release. We don’t need an organization to accomplish that. There is opportunity everywhere.
Fostering is just a more official-sounding term for giving of yourself for someone other than yourself. When it comes to fostering we get to choose our adventure. We also get to foster and be fostered. Who in life has taken you under their wing? There have been many in my lifetime. I can also think of plenty of lives I have nurtured and released. Will we get attached? Yes! To authentically give of yourself likely means there will be some form of attachment that may cause pain when it is time for the other life to move on. It’s ok… really, it is. Letting go is a learned skill, and we become better at it over time. Inversely, not giving of yourself solely due to fear of eventual loss is selfish. We should all know better.
Consider your environment. Where do you see vulnerability? What lives can you pour into? What are your strengths? What have you been through that you can harness to help someone else walking through the same thing? Whose life can you help save? The risk is worth the reward, even if the reward belongs solely to the life invested in.
