The practice of “dream building” was meant to be encouraging to them to keep working hard in their business. We were touring “what could be”. I think inadvertently they got the same message I did.  They ultimately quit the business, divorced, and never had any of those things we spent so much time shopping for. It makes me sad to think about it. I think they muddied the waters for all five of us. They were “dream building” for sure. The problem was it was someone else’s dream.

     I don’t remember being asked much about my dreams when I was young. I don’t think I even dreamed. I was not a Prince Charming and white picket fence kind of girl. I just wanted to be a librarian so I could read books all day. Aside from stamping the cards when people checked out books, I figured librarians just sat there and read book after book while getting paid. It would be a simple life, but I thought it would be awesome. That was the best I could ever come up with. I didn’t share that with anyone because of those muddy waters. What I thought would be awesome didn’t match the images I was being shown for what success was supposed to look like. I had never heard of a librarian living in a 5,000 square foot house on the lake. It seemed to me that when people asked about your dreams, they expected your answer to land you in the category of people who could afford all the things we shopped for while “dream building”.

     Whether or not our parents engaged in “dream building”, I think we all end up subscribed to the same narrative. Someone somewhere in our lives narrowly defines success. We are left feeling  invisible and without value. I never bothered to dream. Did you? I never believed I could measure up, so I never tried. I am certain I am not alone. Here is the problem. We were built with inherent value.  We emerged from the womb with lots to offer the world. That is the narrative we should subscribe to.

     In case no one ever told you … the walls that shelter you do not define you. You can accomplish the biggest of dreams from the humblest abode. Transportation, whether it be your own two feet, city bus, or personal vehicle is just transportation. It is a means to an end, not an expression of personal value. Two of the most successful people I know dress themselves head to toe from Goodwill and drive cast-off vehicles. They have learned how to harness their inherent value instead of seeking the “what could be” of ill-defined success. How can we all figure out how to do that? I know a starting place.

     We need to dream. It doesn’t matter our age. We need to cast off the load of qualifiers, limitations, and expectations that have made us feel invisible and without value. We need to pay attention to that thing that always comes up in those moments when the noise quiets for the smallest second. What is the odd notion that has followed you through life? What would it look like to chase that down? What would you do for free because you love it?  Start there.

     For me, writing is the thing I have never been able to outrun. If I had put as much time and energy into writing as I did believing all the noise, I would probably be a New York Times best-selling author by now. We can’t get back the past. We can, however, start dreaming.  We can start silencing the noise by giving time to that notion we just can’t escape. We can chase that down at our own pace and see where it goes. Let’s give ourselves permission to dream our dreams. Let’s give ourselves permission to dream big. Let’s also give ourselves permission to define success in broad and unique ways. Then we will start honoring our inherent value and step into who we were created to be.