If I have heard it once, I have heard it a million times…. Stay in your lane. Can you relate? Regardless of how we feel about the expression, it is used liberally for everything from the most literal translation with driving to anything generic that another person wants us to butt out of. As much as I understand it, a lot of the time I feel like I am driving blind. I am just trying to keep it between the ditches literally and figuratively.

     My youngest child just graduated high school. The day was perfect. Do you know what I did not hear once? No one said stay in your lane. In fact, one of the girls chosen by her class to speak talked about the dangers of staying in your lane. She shared about how her drive for absolute perfection robbed her of experiences and that life is all about experiences. She went into high school with blinders on. She worked feverishly day in and day out to achieve a very narrow definition of success. She ultimately was very successful, but somewhere along the way figured out the error of her ways.

     I couldn’t help but to think back about my own high school graduation. I don’t remember who spoke. I do not even remember walking across the stage. What I do remember is a conversation I had with the girl alphabetically sitting to my left. It just so happened she was a girl who hated my guts and bullied me all through high school. When she turned to me and started speaking, I was afraid. She told me about a conversation she had with our class “problem child”. He was a loner. He wore all black and had lots of piercings. That was back in the day when that was not even a thing. He was truly an oddity. Anyway, he told her that if he had to pick one person in our class to be like he would choose me.  He said that because I was only person in our class he could think of that was never unkind to him. It blew my mind. It may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. I have never forgotten that conversation. It constantly reminds me that, even when we are staying in our lane, what we do is seen and felt by others.

      We are a very polarized nation at the moment. I think that is because too many of us are operating with blinders on. We purposefully ride along in ruts, unbothered. When people come at us at an angle we declare, “Stay in your lane!”. We give them no attention, or worse, we are mean and dismissive. We carry on, set in our ways. Here’s the thing:  What if the two degrees of difference in viewpoint they offer might bring you freedom? What if, the two degrees in viewpoint you offer could bring them freedom?

  

          Here is my point:  Don’t be afraid of figuratively driving in the middle of the road sometimes.  It is beneficial to look at life from a different angle every now and again. It is good to hear about the experiences of others. It is good to experience new things. There are only a few things in life that are truly black and white. Everything else is gray. We are bad, though, to try to make everything black and white, put our blinders on, and ride in our ruts. When we do that, we miss out. We rob ourselves and others of experiences that could bring about something better. Also, we were created for community. We are happiest when we are together and togetherness doesn’t work well with blinders on.